


you burn me

by girlwitharrows



Category: Killing Eve (TV 2018)
Genre: Angst, F/F, a lot of fire metaphors
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-17
Updated: 2018-06-17
Packaged: 2019-05-24 17:40:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14959097
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/girlwitharrows/pseuds/girlwitharrows
Summary: Set some months after 1x08.“The matches finally tumble their way towards her feet one night.Villanelle is there.”





	you burn me

**Author's Note:**

> i got the title from sappho’s poem, translated by anne carson.
> 
> it is so short yet so powerful. 
> 
> i feel like villanelle reads sappho, what do you guys think?

All her dreams end in fire.

They end with Eve running towards a burning house, they end with red-hot walls, they end with flames licking at her feet.

She is never afraid in her dreams. The fire almost brings peace, the same peace you feel when holding your breath underwater, it is a concept that goes against life and yet it is so calming.

Eve is not stupid, she may not be Freud, but she can see what her dreams are trying to tell her. What they are warning her about.

Her crazy desire is gonna turn her into ashes.

Almost like a pyromaniac, instead of a lighter Eve keeps her phone on her pocket at all times. It is the phone Villanelle can call on, the one which number she knows. She lights it up every five minutes.

Zero calls.

Somehow in all those six months away from the assassin, Eve was able to twist the hatred into something sharp that sliced her heart every now and then. It was a new feeling, quiet but strong.

Every time Eve comes home she expects to find Villanelle sitting on her bed or eating some leftover pie in the kitchen. She would smile, Eve would too, and then she would see the sharp material on the assassin’s hand.

Psychopaths do not take betrayal lightly. For that reason Eve keeps a knife with her at all times. It doesn’t mean she will have the courage to use it again.

She remembers everything, she doesn’t think she will ever be able to forget. When Eve closes her eyes she sees crimson, she sees their shaky hands touching over the wound, she hears Villanelle’s voice. She remembers what she felt, a mix of pride and regret and something else, something dark and all consuming taking place inside of her.

No matter what she chose that day, _finally_ feeling Villanelle’s lips on hers or staining herself with crimson, it would change Eve forever.

That day the assassin also changed forever, she is always gonna carry Eve’s betrayal in the form of a scar. Eve may never see the soft and vulnerable side of Villanelle again. That alone is killing her.

Eve wonders how the assassin will have her revenge. She wonders how Villanelle could break into her apartment if she wanted to, she knows the blonde is way too dramatic to simply knock. That’s why Eve doesn’t lock her windows anymore.

She’s always waiting, and wanting.

Sometimes Eve hears something around the apartment. It ignites a warmth on her stomach, she even smiles sometimes. It must be her. It must be. But it isn’t. After a few minutes ( _way too long_ ), she remembers to be scared.

It is hard to remember this isn’t a good thing. Being the target of a dangerous assassin like Villanelle is not nice, it shouldn’t give her the thrill it does.

This is crazy and dark and twisted and Eve doesn’t give a fuck.

Eve goes to sleep with one hand on top of her stomach, right where Villanelle’s scar must be. She wakes up aching for soft hands and a vicious smile. 

This waiting game is killing her. Maybe that’s the revenge, making Eve scared for the rest of her life. Maybe she won’t come. Eve wishes she will.

Eve won’t run if she sees the fire making its path towards her. She welcomes it. Hell, she is even opening windows for the arsonist.

 

The matches finally tumble their way towards her feet one night.

Villanelle is there.

Sitting on Eve’s couch. Watching a dramatic telenovela. That weirdly makes total sense.

Eve could still choose to run away, the door is still open, she could make a run for the stairs, she could scream for her neighbor to call the police. There are many things she could do, should do, none of which she does.

She enters the apartment and closes the door behind her, the keys are loud as she locks it. Eve turns around and finds Villanelle watching her from that same spot on the couch.

Eve can’t read her eyes, but she feels like prey.

Villanelle goes back to watching the telenovela, visibly relaxes against the couch. Eve wouldn’t be surprised if Villanelle simply got up and left without saying a word. That girl is a walking enigma.

Villanelle laughs, a nice easy laugh. “Eve, watch this with me!” Her Russian accent is still strong, it is oddly charming.

Eve carefully makes her way to the couch. She has to remind herself Villanelle is hurt, this is not like old times. She sits down next to her. She can’t help but watch Villanelle.

The assassin is sitting like she belongs to Eve’s house, her legs are a bit spread apart and her shoes are off. Her hair is down, and she is wearing very nice fitting jeans and a leather jacket. It makes something go wild inside of Eve.

Villanelle huffs realizing Eve is not gonna pay attention to the telenovela, so she turns off the tv. The blonde turns her body towards Eve and crosses her legs.

They watch each other.

“Oksa-” Eve tries.

“Wait.”

Villanelle comes closer. Eve aches.

“Did you mean it...” Villanelle looks nervous, she tries again. “Did you mean it when you said you were always thinking about me?” Her mouth twitches.

“I... yes, yes I did.” There is no point in hiding anymore. “I do.”

“Don’t lie to me, Eve.” Eve notices the gun in the girl’s hand, it doesn’t scare her.

“I am not. You don’t know what I’ve been through.... these past few months, god.” Eve chuckles. “Oksana, it was agony!”

“Oh.” Villanelle seems truly surprised. She softly touches her abdomen with her free hand, where the scar must be. “Then... why?”

Eve takes a deep breath. “I thought I was bringing justice to Bill and you were gonna kiss me, so I kind of panicked and you said I couldn’t do it, so I think I felt... I think I needed to show you that I could.” Eve anxiously puts her hair up in a bun, and then she lets it fall down on her shoulders.

“Okay.” Villanelle chuckles softly.

Villanelle is looking at her with a lazy smile. It makes Eve ache for her, she can’t stop staring at her lips. Eve can’t.... she will explode if she doesn’t...oh god, she just needs, she needs....

Eve kisses her in the midst of desire and fear, it’s crazy how those two can blur together. They are certainly not supposed to but since Villanelle has a way of making everything conspire in her favor it’s not a surprise this is happening.

She hears the gun falling to the ground, long forgotten.

Villanelle answers with utterly raw desire. She lays them down on the couch. Everything Villanelle has ever done wrong seems meaningless when Eve gets to be with her like this. They both get to forget how they hurt each other.

Villanelle kisses Eve like she wants to do this forever. Eve would let her.

The assassin’s lips are on her neck, Villanelle is not gentle and that’s too hot for Eve to function. All she can do is moan and hold on to Villanelle’s jacket.

They are so close together, they found a rhythm with their hips, and god it’s so good. Eve tentatively brings her hand to where the scar must be, and then...

“Wait, stop.” Villanelle separates them, she shakes her head. Her lips are swollen and her pupils blown. Eve feels pride as she is the cause of it. “This wasn’t supposed to happen.” She sounds.... angry? Eve is too turned on to be scared, she is still holding Villanelle close by the jacket.

“What?” Her voice sounds slurred.

“I was... well,”  Villanelle sounds as confused as Eve feels. “I was supposed to come here and hurt you. Hurt you like you hurt me.” She touches her abdomen where the scar must be.

Eve doesn’t know what to say. If the fire must come she won’t fight it. She lets go of Villanelle’s jacket.

“I have to... I have to go.” Villanelle gets up from the couch like it is burning her.

“No, Oksana don’t!”

Villanelle looks at Eve one last time and then proceeds to leave through the window.

Eve is left standing in the ashes.

**Author's Note:**

> i tried sth new here. Did you guys like it?  
> Please comment, i love reading what you think. It makes me so happy.
> 
> Follow me on tumblr: girlwitharrows


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